1 00:00:04,737 --> 00:00:07,549 ♪ Boy, the way Glenn Miller played ♪ 2 00:00:07,573 --> 00:00:11,219 ♪ Songs that made The Hit Parade ♪ 3 00:00:11,243 --> 00:00:14,890 ♪ Guys like us We had it made ♪ 4 00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:18,159 ♪ Those were the days ♪ 5 00:00:18,183 --> 00:00:22,163 ♪ And you knew Where you were then ♪ 6 00:00:22,187 --> 00:00:25,501 ♪ Girls were girls And men were men ♪ 7 00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:32,273 ♪ Mister, we could use a man Like Herbert Hoover again ♪ 8 00:00:32,297 --> 00:00:34,242 ♪ Didn't need No welfare state ♪ 9 00:00:34,266 --> 00:00:38,413 ♪ Everybody pulled His weight ♪ 10 00:00:38,437 --> 00:00:42,751 ♪ Gee, our old LaSalle Ran great ♪ 11 00:00:42,775 --> 00:00:48,579 ♪ Those were the days ♪♪ 12 00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:09,878 What the hell is this, 13 00:01:09,902 --> 00:01:11,822 the Christian Science reading room? 14 00:01:15,007 --> 00:01:17,986 Archie, I'm sorry. 15 00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:19,888 I didn't expect you so early. 16 00:01:19,912 --> 00:01:21,156 I was just reading the paper. 17 00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:23,725 Oh, no. Don't think nothing of it, Edith. 18 00:01:23,749 --> 00:01:24,860 Think nothing of it. 19 00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:26,595 Jeez, I could get jollier welcomes 20 00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:29,230 down at the morgue. 21 00:01:29,254 --> 00:01:31,033 Archie, you were only gone a couple of hours. 22 00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:33,168 What do you want, a 21-gun salute? 23 00:01:33,192 --> 00:01:35,771 Would you stand up and cheer if it was me at the door? 24 00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:36,939 Well, that depends, Meathead, 25 00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:39,323 on whether you was coming in or going out. 26 00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:44,345 Did you have a nice afternoon? 27 00:01:44,369 --> 00:01:46,715 No, I didn't have a nice afternoon, Edith. 28 00:01:46,739 --> 00:01:47,716 Sometimes, I wonder 29 00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:49,317 if this part-time cab driving 30 00:01:49,341 --> 00:01:50,385 is worth my while. 31 00:01:50,409 --> 00:01:52,187 You know, it used to be New York was 32 00:01:52,211 --> 00:01:53,388 full of dudes grabbing cabs 33 00:01:53,412 --> 00:01:55,490 to take their girlfriends to shows. 34 00:01:55,514 --> 00:01:57,626 Now all you see around town is 35 00:01:57,650 --> 00:01:59,970 drifters, weirdoes and pre-verts. 36 00:02:02,521 --> 00:02:05,188 Out of the chair. 37 00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:11,439 Trying to pick up a fare these weekends 38 00:02:11,463 --> 00:02:15,644 is like trolling for sardines with a basketball net. 39 00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:19,247 Well, maybe folks is walking more for exercise. 40 00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:20,983 They're walking more, Edith, 41 00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:22,684 because they ain't got no mazuma. 42 00:02:22,708 --> 00:02:25,153 They gotta make a choice between cabs or butter, 43 00:02:25,177 --> 00:02:26,554 and they're choosing butter. 44 00:02:26,578 --> 00:02:31,414 Oh, they ought to try margarine. It ain't so expensive. 45 00:02:33,285 --> 00:02:34,462 Will you get me a beer? 46 00:02:34,486 --> 00:02:36,698 Right away. 47 00:02:36,722 --> 00:02:38,199 Everything's expensive nowadays. 48 00:02:38,223 --> 00:02:39,901 It's this inflation. 49 00:02:39,925 --> 00:02:41,937 The money in this here country is sick. 50 00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:43,538 Yeah, like the people who control it. 51 00:02:43,562 --> 00:02:46,074 Well, when you control some of it, 52 00:02:46,098 --> 00:02:48,877 I'll listen to your views. 53 00:02:48,901 --> 00:02:50,445 Meantime, you can mail your opinions 54 00:02:50,469 --> 00:02:51,835 back to the Kremlin, huh? 55 00:02:53,372 --> 00:02:55,350 I thought Nixon's wage and price freeze 56 00:02:55,374 --> 00:02:57,352 was supposed to fix everything. 57 00:02:57,376 --> 00:02:59,788 Oh... it's fixing me good. 58 00:02:59,812 --> 00:03:01,456 It's about time some politician spoke up 59 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:02,490 for the little fellas. 60 00:03:02,514 --> 00:03:03,859 You got McGovern. 61 00:03:03,883 --> 00:03:06,061 I also got a headache, Meathead, 62 00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:08,085 and I don't need neither one of them. 63 00:03:12,024 --> 00:03:16,604 Oh, gee, lucky me, I got the book section. 64 00:03:16,628 --> 00:03:17,673 Look at this here. 65 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,575 Come on, come on. All boats in. 66 00:03:20,599 --> 00:03:22,978 Arch, you can only read one section at a time. 67 00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:24,579 Well, I want to look 'em all over 68 00:03:24,603 --> 00:03:25,947 so I can choose which one. 69 00:03:25,971 --> 00:03:27,215 Now, come on, gimme, gimme. 70 00:03:27,239 --> 00:03:29,184 Here's your beer, Archie. 71 00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:30,185 All right, Edith. 72 00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:31,787 Just leave it there, huh? 73 00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:33,088 Oh, look at this, will ya? 74 00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:36,058 Meat prices up again by 8%. 75 00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:38,126 Maybe we ought to turn vegetarian. 76 00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:40,261 It'd be cheaper and healthier. 77 00:03:40,285 --> 00:03:41,830 Well, I ain't turning that 78 00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:42,998 because it ain't natural. 79 00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:45,222 Man was put on this earth to eat meat. 80 00:03:47,626 --> 00:03:48,737 Who says so? 81 00:03:48,761 --> 00:03:51,439 Who says so? The Bible says so, dumbbell. 82 00:03:51,463 --> 00:03:52,674 Where does it say that? 83 00:03:52,698 --> 00:03:56,111 Aw, come on, will ya? I mean, look it up. 84 00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:58,180 Jeez, all them old Bible people, 85 00:03:58,204 --> 00:03:59,614 they was always eating meat 86 00:03:59,638 --> 00:04:01,958 as soon as they found out that eating apples was wrong. 87 00:04:07,346 --> 00:04:09,157 That's true. On special occasions... 88 00:04:09,181 --> 00:04:10,625 Goats and lambs. 89 00:04:10,649 --> 00:04:12,027 Who the hell ever heard of sacrificing 90 00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:14,017 a head of lettuce? You? 91 00:04:22,194 --> 00:04:23,571 What happened here? 92 00:04:23,595 --> 00:04:25,841 What's the matter with this little piece of the paper? 93 00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,275 Oh, I took that, Daddy. 94 00:04:27,299 --> 00:04:28,509 It's of no interest to you. 95 00:04:28,533 --> 00:04:29,577 Oh, I see. 96 00:04:29,601 --> 00:04:31,747 It's out of the employment section here. 97 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:32,981 What's happening? 98 00:04:33,005 --> 00:04:34,983 Don't tell me Meathead is looking for work. 99 00:04:35,007 --> 00:04:36,118 No, he isn't. 100 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,120 Yeah, well, what are you doing? 101 00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,520 You trying to save him from reading 102 00:04:39,544 --> 00:04:41,278 the embarrassing parts? 103 00:04:42,447 --> 00:04:43,691 No, Daddy. 104 00:04:43,715 --> 00:04:45,293 I'm the one that's applying for a job. 105 00:04:45,317 --> 00:04:48,764 Hold it, hold it. You're applying for what? 106 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:49,798 A job. 107 00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:51,399 You just said yourself how tough it is 108 00:04:51,423 --> 00:04:52,500 to make ends meet. 109 00:04:52,524 --> 00:04:54,803 Oh, no, you ain't applying for no job. 110 00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:56,404 A woman's place is still in the home. 111 00:04:56,428 --> 00:04:58,640 Oh, that's ridiculous. 112 00:04:58,664 --> 00:05:00,275 Besides, it's only three days a week 113 00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:02,310 behind the cosmetic counter at Kresslers. 114 00:05:02,334 --> 00:05:04,045 Yeah, Arch. It'll mean a few more dollars 115 00:05:04,069 --> 00:05:05,769 coming into the house. 116 00:05:10,976 --> 00:05:15,991 Listen to this disgusting comment over here. 117 00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:18,160 You know, there is a word for a guy 118 00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:19,494 that lives off his wife. 119 00:05:19,518 --> 00:05:20,678 You ever hear of a gig-olo? 120 00:05:25,657 --> 00:05:26,634 Look at this. 121 00:05:26,658 --> 00:05:28,804 Dogs off the coffee table. 122 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:29,871 All right. 123 00:05:29,895 --> 00:05:31,273 Even when Edith and me was broke 124 00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:32,274 when we was first married, 125 00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:33,675 I never sent her out to work. 126 00:05:33,699 --> 00:05:36,377 Families was proud in them days, right, Edith? 127 00:05:36,401 --> 00:05:38,735 Yeah, and hungry. 128 00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:42,784 Can't you just say yeah and stop? 129 00:05:42,808 --> 00:05:45,187 Times have changed, Daddy. 130 00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:46,454 Well, as far as I'm concerned, 131 00:05:46,478 --> 00:05:47,856 they've changed for the worse. 132 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,057 What the hell is the sense 133 00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:50,258 of talking to yous two, anyhow. 134 00:05:50,282 --> 00:05:51,259 Just get away from me. 135 00:05:51,283 --> 00:05:52,460 Leave me alone, all of yous. 136 00:05:52,484 --> 00:05:53,728 I wanna watch TV. 137 00:05:53,752 --> 00:05:55,530 We delay the start of the roller derby 138 00:05:55,554 --> 00:05:57,498 to bring you an editorial by Mr. Lyle Bennett, 139 00:05:57,522 --> 00:05:59,868 general manager of this station. Mr. Bennett. 140 00:05:59,892 --> 00:06:02,871 Aw, jeez, this bigmouth again. 141 00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:04,439 Why can't you give it a rest? 142 00:06:04,463 --> 00:06:06,274 What's it about? 143 00:06:06,298 --> 00:06:08,009 It's always about the same three things: 144 00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:10,445 pollution, dope, or VD... I'm sick and tired of all three. 145 00:06:10,469 --> 00:06:12,347 I'd like to hear what he's got to say, 146 00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:14,282 all right? 147 00:06:14,306 --> 00:06:17,418 This terrible virus that has infected the country. 148 00:06:17,442 --> 00:06:18,887 What'd I tell you? VD. 149 00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:22,490 There's been much talk about our permissive society. 150 00:06:22,514 --> 00:06:23,758 Well, this is an evil 151 00:06:23,782 --> 00:06:26,161 that we have permitted for too long. 152 00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:27,362 Don't tell me the bigmouth is 153 00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:28,763 talking sense for a change. 154 00:06:28,787 --> 00:06:29,797 Quiet, will ya? 155 00:06:29,821 --> 00:06:31,066 The state must be willing 156 00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:33,935 to buy back every gun in private hands. 157 00:06:33,959 --> 00:06:34,936 What? 158 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,104 He's talking about guns. 159 00:06:36,128 --> 00:06:39,574 What the hell has guns got to do with VD? 160 00:06:39,598 --> 00:06:40,909 Will you listen to the man? 161 00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:44,445 Only by enforcing even tougher gun laws 162 00:06:44,469 --> 00:06:48,316 can the tide of violence and death be halted. 163 00:06:48,340 --> 00:06:50,986 Guns must go before more of them go off. 164 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,388 Well, that's where you're going, buddy boy... off. 165 00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:56,624 Hey, what are you doing that for? 166 00:06:56,648 --> 00:06:58,426 I wanted to hear what he had to say. 167 00:06:58,450 --> 00:07:02,964 He's a fairy like all of them gun-control guys. 168 00:07:02,988 --> 00:07:04,399 I'm for gun control. 169 00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:05,500 Tell it to her. 170 00:07:05,524 --> 00:07:07,335 Maybe she'll get the marriage annulled. 171 00:07:07,359 --> 00:07:08,937 Oh, Daddy! 172 00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:11,072 Archie, what do guns have to do with maleness? 173 00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:13,808 "What do guns have to do with maleness"? 174 00:07:13,832 --> 00:07:15,076 Duke Wayne, buddy. 175 00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:16,144 What? 176 00:07:16,168 --> 00:07:17,678 Clint Westwood there, buddy. 177 00:07:17,702 --> 00:07:18,947 What are you talking about? 178 00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:21,016 Gary Cooper, Sergeant York... Get out of here. 179 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,617 I could go on and on and on, 180 00:07:22,641 --> 00:07:23,818 but it'll do you no good, 181 00:07:23,842 --> 00:07:24,852 because talking to you 182 00:07:24,876 --> 00:07:27,022 is like casting pearls into wine. 183 00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:29,991 No guns, eh? 184 00:07:30,015 --> 00:07:32,360 Tell that to old lady Heinzegger down the street... 185 00:07:32,384 --> 00:07:33,428 "no guns." 186 00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:35,096 She'd have been glad to have a rod 187 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,697 when them two burglars busted in on her 188 00:07:36,721 --> 00:07:37,933 last week, huh, Edith? 189 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,600 Archie, how do you expect an 88-year-old woman 190 00:07:39,624 --> 00:07:41,002 to go around carrying a gun? 191 00:07:41,026 --> 00:07:42,003 I don't know! 192 00:07:42,027 --> 00:07:43,671 She can carry it in her elastic stocking 193 00:07:43,695 --> 00:07:47,409 next to her very-close veins. 194 00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,177 All I know is that as an American 195 00:07:49,201 --> 00:07:51,046 it is my right to pack a rod. 196 00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:52,047 Bull! 197 00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:53,081 What do you mean? 198 00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:54,416 Bull to the Constitution? 199 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,017 It doesn't say that in the Constitution, Arch! 200 00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:57,152 I'll prove it to you. 201 00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:59,354 I got a copy of it here in my history book. 202 00:07:59,378 --> 00:08:01,156 It's right there in your Second Amendment. 203 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,424 Oh, no, Archie. 204 00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:03,858 That's the one that says 205 00:08:03,882 --> 00:08:06,216 "Thou shalt not make any graven image." 206 00:08:09,521 --> 00:08:11,433 That ain't the Constitution, Edith. 207 00:08:11,457 --> 00:08:13,497 What you said is the Gettysburg Address. 208 00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:17,005 I'll prove you don't know what you're talking about. 209 00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:18,139 You just look it up. 210 00:08:18,163 --> 00:08:19,540 All I know, it's my God-given right 211 00:08:19,564 --> 00:08:20,541 as an American 212 00:08:20,565 --> 00:08:21,943 to have a gun in the house. 213 00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:22,944 It is not, Archie. 214 00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:24,145 The Supreme Court ruled on that 215 00:08:24,169 --> 00:08:25,213 as far back as 1939. 216 00:08:25,237 --> 00:08:26,781 What the Supreme Court says 217 00:08:26,805 --> 00:08:30,151 ain't got nothing to do with the law! 218 00:08:30,175 --> 00:08:31,453 They okayed bussing too, 219 00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:33,421 till President Nixon give 'em the old one-two. 220 00:08:33,445 --> 00:08:34,589 All right. Here it is. 221 00:08:34,613 --> 00:08:35,991 Amendment Two... I'll read it to you. 222 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,825 Don't read nothing. I can read myself. 223 00:08:37,849 --> 00:08:39,461 What does it say... Here, here, here... 224 00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:41,463 "The right of the people to keep and bear arms 225 00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:42,663 shall not be infringed." 226 00:08:42,687 --> 00:08:43,764 Read that. 227 00:08:43,788 --> 00:08:45,566 Wait a second. You didn't read all of it! 228 00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:47,235 You did not! Look, look. 229 00:08:47,259 --> 00:08:49,604 "A well-regulated militia, being necessary 230 00:08:49,628 --> 00:08:51,373 "to the security of a free state, 231 00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:53,375 "the right of the people to keep and bear arms 232 00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:54,476 shall not be infringed." 233 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:55,477 "A militia," Arch. 234 00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:56,677 That's what it says right there. 235 00:08:56,701 --> 00:08:58,079 Listen, buddy. I don't pay no attention 236 00:08:58,103 --> 00:09:00,637 to no Constitution in them pinko books of yours. 237 00:09:03,108 --> 00:09:05,686 Did you know that 65% of the people murdered 238 00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:08,156 in the last 10 years were killed by handguns? 239 00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:10,325 Would it make you feel any better, little girl, 240 00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:12,269 if they was pushed out of windows? 241 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,431 Wow, that's convoluted logic. 242 00:09:16,455 --> 00:09:18,599 Yes, and that's the kind of straight thinking 243 00:09:18,623 --> 00:09:20,835 I'm trying to put across here. 244 00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:23,271 I hate that jerk on TV. 245 00:09:23,295 --> 00:09:24,805 Oh, I get it. I get it. 246 00:09:24,829 --> 00:09:26,641 When you thought he was talking about VD 247 00:09:26,665 --> 00:09:27,642 and a permissive society, 248 00:09:27,666 --> 00:09:29,044 he was smart, huh? 249 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,446 You find out he was talking about gun control, he's a jerk? 250 00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:32,847 I'm going to prove it to you. 251 00:09:32,871 --> 00:09:35,250 How many people in the US would like to have guns? 252 00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:36,451 Too many. Thousands. 253 00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:39,476 But how many people would like to have VD? 254 00:09:46,952 --> 00:09:48,696 None, but what does that got to... 255 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:49,697 Case closed, buddy! Case closed! 256 00:09:49,721 --> 00:09:50,998 Get out of here. Come on. 257 00:09:53,024 --> 00:09:54,702 I'll get it. 258 00:09:54,726 --> 00:09:56,504 What do guns have to do with VD? 259 00:09:56,528 --> 00:09:58,339 Michael, there's no sense in even arguing with him. 260 00:09:58,363 --> 00:09:59,541 There's somebody at the door. 261 00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:01,209 Oh, hello, Lionel. Come in. 262 00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:02,677 Oh, no thanks, Mrs. Bunker. 263 00:10:02,701 --> 00:10:05,080 I mean, I don't want to disturb your quiet evening at home. 264 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,615 My mom just asked me to drop off your cookbook. 265 00:10:07,639 --> 00:10:09,750 Wait a minute, wait a minute, Lionel. 266 00:10:09,774 --> 00:10:11,486 Come on in. We're having a little discussion. 267 00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:12,687 I want to ask you something. 268 00:10:12,711 --> 00:10:13,888 Get out of the way, Edith. 269 00:10:13,912 --> 00:10:15,490 Oh, I got to go. Sorry, Mr. Bunker... 270 00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:16,824 This will only take a minute. 271 00:10:16,848 --> 00:10:18,025 Come on, now, here's a guy 272 00:10:18,049 --> 00:10:19,227 who's sure to agree with me. 273 00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:21,829 Lionel, what do your people think about guns? 274 00:10:21,853 --> 00:10:26,634 Well, that depends on who's holding them. 275 00:10:26,658 --> 00:10:28,903 Daddy, how can you be against gun control 276 00:10:28,927 --> 00:10:30,605 with all the assassinations? 277 00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:33,274 Look at it... the Kennedys and Martin Luther King, 278 00:10:33,298 --> 00:10:35,510 and what about the shooting of Governor Wallace? 279 00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,278 I'm saying maybe Governor Wallace 280 00:10:37,302 --> 00:10:39,502 wouldn't have got shot if had a rod in his mitt. 281 00:10:41,873 --> 00:10:45,086 Because the governor was there. He could have shot first. 282 00:10:45,110 --> 00:10:46,287 Archie, what would he be doing 283 00:10:46,311 --> 00:10:48,323 walking around in a crowd with a gun? 284 00:10:48,347 --> 00:10:51,025 What was the other bum doing in a crowd with a gun? 285 00:10:51,049 --> 00:10:52,460 That's ridiculous, Archie! 286 00:10:52,484 --> 00:10:53,661 You're talking about a human being 287 00:10:53,685 --> 00:10:56,063 who may be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. 288 00:10:56,087 --> 00:10:58,366 Yes, and if that human being had had a rod, 289 00:10:58,390 --> 00:11:01,536 then the other human being would be in a wheelchair. 290 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,404 Excuse me, but, Lionel, 291 00:11:03,428 --> 00:11:04,805 we're gonna be late for the show. 292 00:11:04,829 --> 00:11:05,806 Hi, Judy. 293 00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:06,807 Hi, everybody. 294 00:11:06,831 --> 00:11:07,808 Hold it, hold it. 295 00:11:07,832 --> 00:11:09,177 Judy? Who's Judy over here? 296 00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,045 How come everybody knows Judy but me? 297 00:11:11,069 --> 00:11:12,713 Well, maybe that's because you never met her. 298 00:11:12,737 --> 00:11:14,182 Mr. Bunker, this is Judy. 299 00:11:14,206 --> 00:11:15,283 Hello. It's nice meeting you. 300 00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:16,284 Hiya, pleased to meet you. 301 00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:18,286 Well, it's very nice, young lady. 302 00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:19,870 I mean, your going out with Lionel here. 303 00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:22,690 I didn't know you done that, Lionel. 304 00:11:22,714 --> 00:11:24,025 You're dating, huh? 305 00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:27,862 Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. We does all them things. 306 00:11:27,886 --> 00:11:29,830 We dates, gets married. 307 00:11:29,854 --> 00:11:32,200 Where'd you think we all came from? 308 00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:33,201 Well, bye, everybody. 309 00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:34,202 So long. 310 00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:35,203 Goodbye. 311 00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:36,937 Bye there. Bye. 312 00:11:36,961 --> 00:11:38,239 Daddy. 313 00:11:38,263 --> 00:11:41,242 I will never understand your attitude about guns. 314 00:11:41,266 --> 00:11:43,811 You will never understand my attitude about guns. Why not? 315 00:11:43,835 --> 00:11:45,880 What does it take to get through to you, Archie? 316 00:11:45,904 --> 00:11:47,415 You know, England has gun control, 317 00:11:47,439 --> 00:11:49,517 and they had less than 10 handgun murders last year. 318 00:11:49,541 --> 00:11:51,352 The United States had over 8,000. 319 00:11:51,376 --> 00:11:52,720 Those are statistics. 320 00:11:52,744 --> 00:11:56,123 Don't feed me no sta-stistics. Look at the facts here: 321 00:11:56,147 --> 00:11:59,727 England, in World War II, nearly lost. 322 00:11:59,751 --> 00:12:01,529 We had to go over and pull them out. 323 00:12:01,553 --> 00:12:02,530 Why did they nearly lose? 324 00:12:02,554 --> 00:12:04,265 Because they didn't have no guns, 325 00:12:04,289 --> 00:12:08,436 because, in my opinion, England is a fag country. 326 00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:09,437 That's crazy. 327 00:12:09,461 --> 00:12:10,672 I know it's crazy, 328 00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:12,607 but they don't never tell you that on TV. 329 00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:15,243 Archie, we need more guys like that station manager 330 00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:16,477 speaking out against guns. 331 00:12:16,501 --> 00:12:17,778 No, no, no! 332 00:12:17,802 --> 00:12:19,581 We got too many of them station master guys 333 00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:21,716 paving the road to communism in this here country. 334 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,918 What we need to hear more from is ordinary Joes. 335 00:12:23,942 --> 00:12:25,253 Oh, like you, I suppose? 336 00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:26,254 That's right. 337 00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:27,655 Fine. Good. We'll give him a call. 338 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:28,823 Get away. 339 00:12:28,847 --> 00:12:30,325 Come on. What's the matter? Get lost. 340 00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:31,326 What? You got cold feet? 341 00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:32,527 I ain't got no cold feet. 342 00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:34,962 Oh, you do too, Archie, in bed. 343 00:12:34,986 --> 00:12:37,765 You always got cold feet. 344 00:12:37,789 --> 00:12:39,489 Edith... 345 00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:42,704 Don't torture me, huh? 346 00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:44,272 Mr. Bennett, please. What is that? 347 00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:45,506 Come on. You scared? 348 00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:47,308 Get out of here. I ain't scared of nothing. 349 00:12:47,332 --> 00:12:50,010 Well, then, come on, prove it. Talk to the station manager. 350 00:12:50,034 --> 00:12:52,213 Yes, hello, I have a man here who's interested in making 351 00:12:52,237 --> 00:12:54,215 a rebuttal to your views on gun control. 352 00:12:54,239 --> 00:12:56,284 What kind of a gag is that? Yes, thank you. 353 00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:58,018 That was his secretary. She's putting him on. 354 00:12:58,042 --> 00:12:59,220 You ain't got nobody on there. 355 00:12:59,244 --> 00:13:00,221 Hello, Mr. Bennett? 356 00:13:00,245 --> 00:13:01,556 Yeah, yeah, he's right here. 357 00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:02,557 Get out of here. 358 00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:03,558 Come on. You scared? 359 00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:05,260 Give me that phone. 360 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,662 Hello. Who is this? 361 00:13:07,686 --> 00:13:10,265 Huh? 362 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,567 Yeah, well, no, no, no. 363 00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:13,968 See, I didn't make the call. 364 00:13:13,992 --> 00:13:15,770 It was my son-in-law here monkeying around, and, uh... 365 00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:16,937 Oh, you're scared. 366 00:13:16,961 --> 00:13:18,673 Hold the line. What? 367 00:13:18,697 --> 00:13:19,774 You're scared. 368 00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:20,908 I'm scared, huh? 369 00:13:20,932 --> 00:13:22,543 Yeah, hello. 370 00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:25,446 Listen, this is Archie Bunker here, 371 00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:27,582 and, uh, with regards to your editorial 372 00:13:27,606 --> 00:13:28,983 on the gun control, 373 00:13:29,007 --> 00:13:30,873 I demand equal time. 374 00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:41,362 Look. Look, Mr. Martinez... 375 00:13:41,386 --> 00:13:45,700 Mr. Martinez, this station is not anti-Puerto Rican. 376 00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,101 I would have loved to have filmed 377 00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:48,235 your Puerto Rican festival, 378 00:13:48,259 --> 00:13:50,137 but I've only got so many cameras. 379 00:13:50,161 --> 00:13:51,906 No, no, no, no, no. 380 00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:53,741 They're not all out filming Cuban festivals 381 00:13:53,765 --> 00:13:56,544 and Black Panther festivals. 382 00:13:56,568 --> 00:13:59,413 Yes, I know you're a minority. 383 00:13:59,437 --> 00:14:02,550 In this community, most people are. 384 00:14:02,574 --> 00:14:04,018 What am I? 385 00:14:04,042 --> 00:14:06,120 I'm an American. 386 00:14:06,144 --> 00:14:08,288 All right, Italian. 387 00:14:08,312 --> 00:14:11,425 What do you mean, "Ah-hah"? 388 00:14:11,449 --> 00:14:12,927 Mr. Martinez... 389 00:14:12,951 --> 00:14:13,928 Hello? 390 00:14:13,952 --> 00:14:15,530 Hello? Hel... 391 00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:17,331 Excuse me, Mr. Bennett, 392 00:14:17,355 --> 00:14:21,002 but while you were on the phone, the gay people called again. 393 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,793 Put them through to Maurice. He understands. 394 00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:28,743 Oh, Mr. Bunker's still waiting. 395 00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:29,744 Bunker? 396 00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:31,111 The gun nut. 397 00:14:31,135 --> 00:14:32,680 Susan, don't talk like that. 398 00:14:32,704 --> 00:14:34,148 That man is part of our audience. 399 00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:35,716 I'm sorry, sir. 400 00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:38,085 Show the gun nut in. 401 00:14:38,109 --> 00:14:39,954 You can come in now, Mr. Bunker. 402 00:14:39,978 --> 00:14:41,488 Yeah, all right. 403 00:14:41,512 --> 00:14:42,623 Hey... 404 00:14:42,647 --> 00:14:46,126 you're him, the guy on the TV there. 405 00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:47,361 Come in, Mr. Bunker. 406 00:14:48,386 --> 00:14:49,564 Sorry to have kept you waiting. 407 00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:51,632 Would you like some coffee, or... 408 00:14:51,656 --> 00:14:53,890 No, no, no, because I just had my lunch here. 409 00:14:55,493 --> 00:14:56,470 That's an antique. 410 00:14:56,494 --> 00:14:58,061 No, that's brand-new. 411 00:15:00,465 --> 00:15:01,776 I mean, the desk. 412 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,143 Oh, the desk, yeah. 413 00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:04,979 Well, I noticed when I was coming in here, 414 00:15:05,003 --> 00:15:08,348 everything's a little bit out of date, 415 00:15:08,372 --> 00:15:10,974 but, uh, I guess you're pretty comfortable, huh? 416 00:15:13,544 --> 00:15:16,591 Well, now, Mr. Bunker, we're always glad 417 00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:17,625 to fulfill our obligations 418 00:15:17,649 --> 00:15:20,728 to the public... and to the FCC. 419 00:15:20,752 --> 00:15:23,232 What group did you say you represented? 420 00:15:23,655 --> 00:15:25,332 Uh, group? What do you mean by group? 421 00:15:25,356 --> 00:15:27,001 Well, on whose behalf 422 00:15:27,025 --> 00:15:28,402 do you wish to make this rebuttal? 423 00:15:28,426 --> 00:15:32,873 Uh, I wish to rebuttal here on behalf of me. 424 00:15:32,897 --> 00:15:33,897 Just you? 425 00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:37,578 Yes? 426 00:15:37,602 --> 00:15:38,846 Who? 427 00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:41,115 Rabbi Goldman? 428 00:15:41,139 --> 00:15:42,717 All right, put him on. 429 00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:43,718 Excuse me. 430 00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:46,020 Yeah. Go ahead. 431 00:15:46,044 --> 00:15:48,244 Hello, Rabbi. What can I do for you? 432 00:15:50,348 --> 00:15:53,794 Oh, but we had Rabbi Levine on just last week. 433 00:15:53,818 --> 00:15:55,596 I thought he put the Jewish point of view 434 00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:57,732 quite well. 435 00:15:57,756 --> 00:15:59,916 What do you mean, "Rabbi Levine's not Jewish"? 436 00:16:02,426 --> 00:16:04,661 Oh, reformed doesn't count, huh? 437 00:16:07,231 --> 00:16:09,010 Well, look, why don't you drop me a line 438 00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,078 and I'll see what I can do. 439 00:16:11,102 --> 00:16:12,813 Fine. 440 00:16:12,837 --> 00:16:14,414 Shalom to you too. 441 00:16:14,438 --> 00:16:16,216 Excuse me. 442 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,584 Where were we? 443 00:16:17,608 --> 00:16:19,086 What group did you say you represented? 444 00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:21,255 I just represent a whole lot of guys 445 00:16:21,279 --> 00:16:22,523 just like me... 446 00:16:22,547 --> 00:16:25,014 I mean, down at work, and in Kelsey's bar... 447 00:16:26,751 --> 00:16:29,096 and I just want to get on the TV there 448 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:30,197 and tell the public 449 00:16:30,221 --> 00:16:31,766 that all this stuff about gun control 450 00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:35,269 is, uh, excuse me, garbage... 451 00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:37,571 because guns is what made this here country 452 00:16:37,595 --> 00:16:39,206 what it is today. 453 00:16:39,230 --> 00:16:40,607 No argument. 454 00:16:40,631 --> 00:16:42,309 Guns is red, white and blue American. 455 00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:43,577 Just like apple pie. 456 00:16:43,601 --> 00:16:45,079 That's right, 457 00:16:45,103 --> 00:16:47,614 and I believe in seeing two sides of the question 458 00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:49,919 so that you can show the other guy where he's wrong. 459 00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,455 You know, I never thought of that. 460 00:16:55,479 --> 00:16:56,623 Yeah. 461 00:16:56,647 --> 00:16:58,826 Like, for instance, what you said about guns, now. 462 00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:00,194 You see, that was wrong. 463 00:17:00,218 --> 00:17:02,830 You said that guns kill. Wrong. 464 00:17:02,854 --> 00:17:03,998 People kill. People kill. 465 00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:05,465 That's right. 466 00:17:05,489 --> 00:17:08,703 Okay, so how do you propose to stop people killing people? 467 00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:11,393 That's easy. Bring back the death penalty. 468 00:17:15,967 --> 00:17:16,944 Excuse me. 469 00:17:16,968 --> 00:17:18,334 Go ahead. 470 00:17:22,573 --> 00:17:23,784 Susan, will you have Johnson 471 00:17:23,808 --> 00:17:25,619 step in here for a minute? 472 00:17:25,643 --> 00:17:27,021 There's something I want him to see 473 00:17:27,045 --> 00:17:28,878 before it's extinct. 474 00:17:39,824 --> 00:17:41,168 Ta-dah! 475 00:17:41,192 --> 00:17:43,070 I did it, Ma. I got the job! 476 00:17:43,094 --> 00:17:45,305 Oh, Gloria, that's wonderful! 477 00:17:45,329 --> 00:17:47,241 Mike, Gloria got the job. 478 00:17:47,265 --> 00:17:50,111 Really? Oh, congratulations, honey. That's great. 479 00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:51,112 Michael, I was so nervous. 480 00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,713 You know, I had to cross my legs 481 00:17:52,737 --> 00:17:54,115 so I wouldn't hear my knees knocking. 482 00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:58,385 Ain't that a coincidence? Mine used to do that. 483 00:17:58,409 --> 00:18:00,020 I remember my interview 484 00:18:00,044 --> 00:18:02,589 with the Hercules Plumbing Company. 485 00:18:02,613 --> 00:18:06,127 I had to wrap my feet around the legs of my chair 486 00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:08,796 to keep my knees from knocking together. 487 00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:10,631 Did it work? 488 00:18:10,655 --> 00:18:11,966 Oh, yeah, 489 00:18:11,990 --> 00:18:15,024 except I forgot about it when I started to stand up. 490 00:18:18,429 --> 00:18:20,975 I fell right over the boss's desk 491 00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:23,833 and broke his clock radio. 492 00:18:24,969 --> 00:18:26,546 Now hear this. 493 00:18:26,570 --> 00:18:28,082 After dinner, I'm taking all of us 494 00:18:28,106 --> 00:18:30,251 down to Kelsey's bar for a drink to celebrate. 495 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:31,551 Oh, great. Oh, good. 496 00:18:31,575 --> 00:18:32,887 Whoop-dee-doo! 497 00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:36,456 Ah-hah! You think I couldn't do it, but I done it. 498 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,058 Wait till you see. You did it, Daddy? 499 00:18:38,082 --> 00:18:40,094 Archie, that's wonderful! 500 00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:41,862 Congratulations. 501 00:18:41,886 --> 00:18:45,266 Oh, I'm so proud of you. 502 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,290 What did you do? 503 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,672 I rebuttaled that guy on TV about the guns. 504 00:18:51,696 --> 00:18:53,274 You really went down to that station? 505 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,474 Yeah. Daddy, you were on television? 506 00:18:54,498 --> 00:18:56,476 Archie, you were on television, 507 00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:57,978 and we missed it? 508 00:18:58,002 --> 00:19:00,214 Why didn't you call us and tell us? 509 00:19:00,238 --> 00:19:01,982 Because I knew I was coming right home, 510 00:19:02,006 --> 00:19:03,383 and I'm going to be on there 511 00:19:03,407 --> 00:19:04,718 in about two minutes. 512 00:19:04,742 --> 00:19:06,120 Oh, wow. He's going to be on. 513 00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:08,122 This I got to see. This I got to see. 514 00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:09,123 Oh, Edith, they couldn't wait 515 00:19:09,147 --> 00:19:10,124 to get me on there. 516 00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:11,425 They brought me into a studio, 517 00:19:11,449 --> 00:19:14,028 sat me down on a stool, told me to do it right there, 518 00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:15,595 and I done it there, on tape. 519 00:19:15,619 --> 00:19:17,832 Really, Daddy? In your own words? 520 00:19:17,856 --> 00:19:19,733 Certainly, my own words, little girl. 521 00:19:19,757 --> 00:19:21,135 What else do you think they wanted? 522 00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:23,737 "Just say it into the camera the way you said it to us." 523 00:19:23,761 --> 00:19:25,472 Here, not yet. 524 00:19:25,496 --> 00:19:27,174 Oh, boy, Edith, 525 00:19:27,198 --> 00:19:28,742 you should've seen that camera. 526 00:19:28,766 --> 00:19:30,945 Oh, with the wheels, everything, the lights... 527 00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:32,512 Did they make you up, Daddy? Sure. 528 00:19:32,536 --> 00:19:35,515 Oh, no, Gloria, they wouldn't have to do that. 529 00:19:35,539 --> 00:19:37,106 Archie is real. 530 00:19:40,278 --> 00:19:44,458 No. Ma, I mean makeup to cover his 5:00 shadow. 531 00:19:44,482 --> 00:19:47,494 Aw, nah. They just puffed a little powder all over. 532 00:19:47,518 --> 00:19:49,398 Yeah, a little Helena Rubinstein. 533 00:19:50,221 --> 00:19:53,133 Shut up. 534 00:19:53,157 --> 00:19:55,669 And I blew it right off after it was all over anyway. 535 00:19:55,693 --> 00:19:57,504 And you really said that guns were okay? 536 00:19:57,528 --> 00:19:58,505 I certainly did, 537 00:19:58,529 --> 00:19:59,606 and you know something 538 00:19:59,630 --> 00:20:01,108 about that station master down there? 539 00:20:01,132 --> 00:20:03,110 The guy never fired off a gun in his life. 540 00:20:03,134 --> 00:20:04,111 He admitted that to me. 541 00:20:04,135 --> 00:20:05,112 So? 542 00:20:05,136 --> 00:20:06,446 So? 543 00:20:06,470 --> 00:20:08,648 Some crackpot who never fired off a gun in his life, 544 00:20:08,672 --> 00:20:11,418 he wants to take the fun away from all the other guys. 545 00:20:11,442 --> 00:20:13,453 Yeah, that's right, Arch. He's a regular killjoy. 546 00:20:13,477 --> 00:20:14,821 Yeah, and talking about killing, 547 00:20:14,845 --> 00:20:16,357 cars kill more people in this country 548 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:17,358 than guns every year. 549 00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:18,392 Did you know that? 550 00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:20,194 And I told him that on the TV too. 551 00:20:20,218 --> 00:20:21,195 Archie, that's stupid. 552 00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:22,529 Drivers don't mean to kill people. 553 00:20:22,553 --> 00:20:25,554 Oh, no? You ain't driven a cab yet, bud. 554 00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:28,635 Here we are, here we are. 555 00:20:28,659 --> 00:20:29,836 All right, everybody, clam up now. 556 00:20:29,860 --> 00:20:31,438 Oh, look what they did to your hair. 557 00:20:31,462 --> 00:20:32,940 Mr. Archie Bunker, 558 00:20:32,964 --> 00:20:34,341 speaking in reply to the editorial broadcast 559 00:20:34,365 --> 00:20:35,342 last Saturday. 560 00:20:35,366 --> 00:20:37,344 Good evening, everybody. 561 00:20:37,368 --> 00:20:40,981 This here is Archie Bunker of 704 Hauser Street, 562 00:20:41,005 --> 00:20:42,449 veteran of the big war, 563 00:20:42,473 --> 00:20:45,986 speaking on behalf of guns for everybody. 564 00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:47,388 Now question: 565 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:50,057 what was the first thing that the communists done 566 00:20:50,081 --> 00:20:52,259 when they took over Russia? 567 00:20:52,283 --> 00:20:53,961 Answer: gun control. 568 00:20:53,985 --> 00:20:55,762 And there's a lot of people in this country 569 00:20:55,786 --> 00:20:57,864 want to do the same thing to us here 570 00:20:57,888 --> 00:20:59,967 in a kind of conspiracy, see? 571 00:20:59,991 --> 00:21:02,502 You take your big international bankers... 572 00:21:02,526 --> 00:21:05,105 uh, they want to... What do you call... 573 00:21:05,129 --> 00:21:07,141 Masticate the people of this here nation 574 00:21:07,165 --> 00:21:08,508 like puppets on a wing. 575 00:21:08,532 --> 00:21:10,444 And then, when they get that done, 576 00:21:10,468 --> 00:21:12,179 turn us over to the commies. 577 00:21:12,203 --> 00:21:14,481 Oh, Archie, I'm glad they put you on a stool. 578 00:21:14,505 --> 00:21:16,050 Shh, shh, shh. 579 00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:17,584 You look taller sitting down. 580 00:21:17,608 --> 00:21:19,053 Shush! 581 00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:20,620 Now I want to talk about 582 00:21:20,644 --> 00:21:22,689 another thing that's on everybody's mind today, 583 00:21:22,713 --> 00:21:25,259 and that's yous stickups and yous skyjackers, 584 00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:27,594 which, uh, if that was up to me, 585 00:21:27,618 --> 00:21:29,363 I could end the skyjackings tomorrow. 586 00:21:29,387 --> 00:21:31,731 You could? 587 00:21:31,755 --> 00:21:34,601 All you got to do is arm all your passengers. 588 00:21:34,625 --> 00:21:37,571 If he knows the passengers are armed 589 00:21:37,595 --> 00:21:39,940 and that he ain't got no more superior-ority there, 590 00:21:39,964 --> 00:21:42,142 then he ain't gonna dare to pull out no rod, 591 00:21:42,166 --> 00:21:43,510 and then you realize 592 00:21:43,534 --> 00:21:44,811 that they wouldn't have 593 00:21:44,835 --> 00:21:48,215 to search the passengers on the ground no more. 594 00:21:48,239 --> 00:21:50,617 They just pass out the pistols at the beginning of the trip, 595 00:21:50,641 --> 00:21:53,687 and they pick them up again at the end. 596 00:21:53,711 --> 00:21:56,178 Case closed. 597 00:22:01,619 --> 00:22:04,264 That's incredible, Arch. 598 00:22:04,288 --> 00:22:06,300 What do you mean, "incredible"? 599 00:22:06,324 --> 00:22:08,435 What I said made damn good sense to me, 600 00:22:08,459 --> 00:22:09,436 even when I heard it 601 00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:11,505 played back on the television. 602 00:22:11,529 --> 00:22:12,706 I hated every word you said, 603 00:22:12,730 --> 00:22:14,408 but you sure came through loud and clear. 604 00:22:14,432 --> 00:22:17,111 Well, experience tells, Meathead. 605 00:22:17,135 --> 00:22:19,146 You don't command men on a loading platform 606 00:22:19,170 --> 00:22:20,702 without learning something. 607 00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:24,718 Wow, this has really been quite a day, Daddy. 608 00:22:24,742 --> 00:22:26,520 You were on television and I got a job. 609 00:22:26,544 --> 00:22:27,721 Yeah. 610 00:22:27,745 --> 00:22:30,657 It's him. You're him. 611 00:22:30,681 --> 00:22:34,528 The guy I just saw on television down the street. 612 00:22:34,552 --> 00:22:35,695 Mr. Bunker. 613 00:22:35,719 --> 00:22:37,464 That's right. You seen the show? 614 00:22:37,488 --> 00:22:39,400 Yeah. I want to shake your hand. 615 00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:40,767 Hey, gee, pleased to meet you. 616 00:22:40,791 --> 00:22:43,137 Hey, listen to this... the public here. 617 00:22:43,161 --> 00:22:45,105 Man, I really dug what you said 618 00:22:45,129 --> 00:22:46,473 about those guns. 619 00:22:46,497 --> 00:22:48,575 I mean, I couldn't have said it better myself. 620 00:22:48,599 --> 00:22:50,377 Oh, I bet you're real proud of him, huh? 621 00:22:51,902 --> 00:22:53,280 Well, you know, I'm just trying 622 00:22:53,304 --> 00:22:55,082 to set the public straight on something, that's all. 623 00:22:55,106 --> 00:22:56,417 Like when you said, 624 00:22:56,441 --> 00:22:59,853 "Guns are what brings law and order to our cities." 625 00:22:59,877 --> 00:23:02,856 Yeah, and what shoot a hundred policemen a year. 626 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,513 Who's this? 627 00:23:06,484 --> 00:23:09,163 He's only my son-in-law. Don't pay no attention to him. 628 00:23:09,187 --> 00:23:10,497 He's a meatheaded student, 629 00:23:10,521 --> 00:23:12,966 and he don't know nothing about the real world. 630 00:23:12,990 --> 00:23:16,070 Listen, you ought to listen to him. 631 00:23:16,094 --> 00:23:17,637 Like when he said, quote: 632 00:23:17,661 --> 00:23:19,873 "Guns are just like free speech." 633 00:23:19,897 --> 00:23:21,341 Beautiful. 634 00:23:21,365 --> 00:23:22,909 Well, the truth is beautiful. 635 00:23:22,933 --> 00:23:24,978 Beautiful. You said it all, fella. 636 00:23:25,002 --> 00:23:27,781 Why don't you have a beer with us? 637 00:23:27,805 --> 00:23:30,517 Oh, no. Actually, I got to get to work now. 638 00:23:30,541 --> 00:23:32,986 Uh, Louis? 639 00:23:33,010 --> 00:23:34,188 Put your money in the hat. 640 00:23:34,212 --> 00:23:36,123 Huh? 641 00:23:36,147 --> 00:23:39,693 Wallet! Wallet! 642 00:23:39,717 --> 00:23:41,761 The wallets? All right, don't shoot, now. 643 00:23:41,785 --> 00:23:43,330 Here, here, here. 644 00:23:43,354 --> 00:23:44,764 Give me your wristwatch. 645 00:23:44,788 --> 00:23:45,932 Oh, Archie. 646 00:23:45,956 --> 00:23:48,056 Give it to him, Edith. He'll kill me. 647 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,138 That's it now, folks. 648 00:23:51,162 --> 00:23:52,506 Louis? 649 00:23:52,530 --> 00:23:53,707 Oh, by the way, 650 00:23:53,731 --> 00:23:55,309 Mr. Bunker, did you pay for those drinks? 651 00:23:55,333 --> 00:23:56,310 No. 652 00:23:56,334 --> 00:23:57,344 Bartender? 653 00:23:57,368 --> 00:23:59,413 The drinks are on me. 654 00:23:59,437 --> 00:24:01,148 Bye-bye, everybody. 655 00:24:01,172 --> 00:24:02,172 Bye-bye. 656 00:24:18,656 --> 00:24:19,633 Leave me alone. 657 00:24:19,657 --> 00:24:21,701 Get away from me! What? What? 658 00:24:21,725 --> 00:24:23,504 Just get away from me, Meathead, that's all! 659 00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:25,572 Took my wallet, all my dough... my paycheck, everything gone. 660 00:24:25,596 --> 00:24:26,573 Well, that proves my point... 661 00:24:26,597 --> 00:24:27,774 If he didn't have a gun 662 00:24:27,798 --> 00:24:28,775 he wouldn't have robbed us. 663 00:24:28,799 --> 00:24:30,177 Well, if I had had a gun, 664 00:24:30,201 --> 00:24:31,612 he wouldn't have robbed us neither. 665 00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:32,946 When I reached for my wallet, 666 00:24:32,970 --> 00:24:36,216 I'd pull out a pistol, and I'd give it to him. 667 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,018 Well, he'd have given it to you too, Archie. 668 00:24:38,042 --> 00:24:39,119 Aw! 669 00:24:39,143 --> 00:24:40,754 Yeah, and then you'd both be dead. 670 00:24:40,778 --> 00:24:42,022 I don't care! 671 00:24:42,046 --> 00:24:44,913 At least I'd have more money than I got now! 672 00:25:03,967 --> 00:25:05,345 All in the Family was recorded 673 00:25:05,369 --> 00:25:08,036 on tape before a live audience.